Fitness Means More Than Thinness

Someone asked me if I'd lost weight yesterday. Although I haven't, it was really nice to hear that I'm looking good. My theory is that she thought I looked nice because of the confidence & self-acceptance I've been gaining. You know what they say: "confidence is sexy" (or something like that).

I've lost my obsession with weight loss, lately. Yeah, I'm a size 16/18. Yeah, I'd rather be a 12 or 14, but I can be happy as I am, too. That being said, I'd really like to get in better cardiovascular shape (increase my endurance). Partially this is to do with the fact that I'm headed to Germany in a little under a month, and, when I spoke with a member of my host family yesterday, she mentioned that some members of her family are pretty sporty.

A picture I took of Castle Neuschwanstein the last time I was in Germany. Gorgeous!

 To say the least, I'm anything but athletic. I'm not coordinated, nor do I have much endurance right now. I've never been much of a runner, but I don't think I could jog for more than a few minutes right now if I tried. I'd love to increase my fitness in that sense, both to keep up in Germany, and to enjoy being more active. (Also for my health, of course!)     

So, I think I'll start off by trying some fast walking, maybe around 3.5 to 4.0 mph, and maybe get on the elliptical/cross-country ski machine sometimes. I'll try for 4-5 days a week. I think that Germany will be great motivation for this.

And if I lose weight? Cool! If not? I can be beautiful just like I am now, and I'll increase my fitness.

Soul-Tease

I was in an unhealthy relationship. It had nothing to do with physical abuse, nor was I letting The Boy hurt me verbally. Or in any other way. I was abusing myself in every other way that I could think of. (I hated my body, I wasn't "good enough" for anyone, I was dumb and unattractive and awful.) I'll tell the story of how I realized this and the odd fight for myself that ensued some other time. The important thing now, though, is that I need to learn to love myself.

This blog is for the journey towards...
 treating my body as the beautiful home that it is.
acknowledging and employing my "smarts."
no longer apologizing for my every perceived misstep.
living beautifully.
and honestly.
and confidently.
towards loving myself.

In short, this blog is for me. You can just watch. It's a strip-tease of the soul, if you will. So sit back and take a deep breath.
It begins.

All smiles tonight,
Taylor :)